I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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