See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
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