I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize