So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
