bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
