ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
if only i could text you this smell
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Houston, we have a blender
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize