Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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