you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
false alarm, still single
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
