so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
