how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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