Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
