we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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