I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
