He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
