also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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