My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
