brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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