I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
