At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
