i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He passed out mid-signature
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
