Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
