I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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