question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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