Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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