Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
