im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
