Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Let's paint friendship bongs
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
