Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
