i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
