Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
i think my cat just said my name.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
