hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
