xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
