sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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