he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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