Someone shit on the floor
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
