this just has baby written all over it
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
