Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
