well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
