Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
