It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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