we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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