1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
