she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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