I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
