just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize