My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize