Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize