So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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