I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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