Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
