Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
