You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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