I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
