I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Did you pee in the oven last night??
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
