Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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