can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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